Sunday, August 3, 2008

Sunday


I am drinking a gin and tonic at this 7.30pm Sunday evening-time, listening to French reggae, thinking about the bees still visiting the calamintha and nepeta outside, the puffy clouds in the September-blue sky, thinking about the week ahead and wondering quite how to do it all; missing One, as MFK Fisher writes, thinking rather sadly of eveything I cannot write at the moment and everything that he cannot write, of__________and _______ and red tape and ___________none of which I can really mention right now. It's a waiting game and it's beginning to tell. There is just a great suspension and not knowing, and wishing.

And a black cat, and planes landing in straight lines through the blue to La Guardia and a terrace freshly watered; heirloom tomatoes in the beginning of a simple sauce for spaghetti, and the knowledge that what one wants isn't anything. It is what we have now that is everything. I have been successful in small ways at realizing that over the last few years, and have profitted from it, and have found what I wanted from taking care of the now. But sometimes the temptation to throw oneself into an unseen and desired future can hijack...because it robs now of everything.

This is not a blog for rants and whining. So just pretend y'all took a wrong turn. Tomorrow it'll all be bright and flowers again.

And on an entirely unrelated note, kind of:

"If you have supped well, for instance, on ham baked with apples and sweet potatoes and a green salad, you will probably agree that the best possible ending to such a savourous meal is a bowl of walnuts which have been roasting in their shells in the hot oven while you ate. Coffee is fine with them, but a glass of port is even better...or an ordinary red wine."

MFK Fisher, from How to Cook a Wolf, The Art Of Eating, 1937.

10 comments:

  1. He is very lucky, he who is missed so much by you.

    Not being able to say and write things, at times, just makes them more precious... :-)

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  2. wishing right along with you... xo

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  3. Sterkte, Marie, alles sal reg kom.

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  4. Jen - thank you, you're kind....x

    Jane - as elkeen sy plig doen??:-)
    Sigh. And thank you.

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  5. By the way, second picture: like stairs leading up to spinning clouds. Great motion, love it. :-)

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  6. Hello Marie, I have resurfaced on the blogosphere.....after summer just kind of ran away with me....

    G & T...I had one the other night on a patio overlooking the lake and Toronto skyline....with a wedge of lime....it hit the spot.

    Very dramatic sky and cute kitty featured on today's post....

    Hope your equilibrium is soon restored....

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  7. Thank you, Ms. Hound. I watched a knitter on the F train a couple of days ago, wondering :-)

    Centvingt...a bit creepy, it felt.

    LL - welcome back with your new nom de guerre.

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  8. sorry, no knitting on the F train. The Q and B are likely spots...

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